


someplace where it’s less delicate

by totem



Category: Actor RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - Aliens, Crack Treated Seriously, Established Relationship, M/M, Secret Relationship, Soul Bond
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-17
Updated: 2014-08-17
Packaged: 2018-02-13 12:10:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 842
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2150241
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/totem/pseuds/totem
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A courier drops off the script the next day, and of course it's a project written and directed by James Franco, and of course it stars James as the main character, and Dave isn't even shocked that the studio hand't blinked an eye at James putting his own goddamn brother — even though they aren't fucking related, not that anybody on this planet knows that — at the top of the list of actors he'd like to play his love interest.</p>
            </blockquote>





	someplace where it’s less delicate

**Author's Note:**

  * For [SevlinRipley](https://archiveofourown.org/users/SevlinRipley/gifts).



> I don't even want to talk about what this is, but I feel like it requires background knowledge before you even try to read it.
> 
> James and Dave are aliens. On the planet they originate from people are grown on plants. Because of this, everyone is sterile and nobody has any siblings/parents. Soulbonds are also a thing on this world, and the way that you can tell your soulmate is yours is based on their DNA. It's similar to yours (like a sibling is irl); obviously, this means that they sorta look like you a little bit (again, like siblings irl).
> 
> Okay? Okay.

Dave's agent calls and lets him know that he's been shortlisted for what's being hyped up as the next big sci-fi romcom. He won't tell him who the director is, just gives a bare-bones outline of the script and swears up and down that Dave'll get co-billing on all the posters; the role being offered to him is that of the main character's love interest. Dave presses for more details, but Sean's acting cagey, says that the project is so hush-hush that he has to sign on before he can have anymore information. 

Dave thinks on it, tries to go to James to get his advice — his husband has done everything under the rainbow, from remaking classic films to sucking prosthetic dick as directed by a script he wrote himself, if there's anyone who's certified on the do's and don'ts of role choices, it's James.

James is nowhere to be found, though; suddenly, mysteriously busy whenever Dave brings up the project. Eventually Dave can't take the curiosity anymore, signs his name to the contract and hopes that it doesn't come back to bite him in the ass.

A courier drops off the script the next day, and of course it's a project written and directed by James Franco, and of course it stars James as the main character, and Dave isn't even shocked that the studio hand't blinked an eye at James putting his own goddamn brother — even though they aren't fucking related, not that anybody on this planet knows that — at the top of the list of actors he'd like to play his love interest. 

That's not even the worst of it, because when Dave starts to thumb through the pages — his character's lines already highlighted in a cheery, florescent green, probably by James himself, because he knows that green is Dave's favorite color, and is _so fucking helpful_ — he realizes that the story is the farthest thing from science fiction. 

No, it's the history of his and James' home planet, and even worse, it's an über-romanticized version of James' life, complete with a montage skipping over the first seven years of his life, pausing for a bit when Dave was born, that magic moment when James' life truly because, and then more fast forwarding until Dave's reached an Earth-approved age for same-sex romance, a full four years older than Dave had actually been when he'd fucked James for the first time. 

Dave wishes that he could be mad — because he knows that their handlers back home aren't going to like this, and he knows that most of the people of Earth are going to find this fucking weird, even by _James Franco standards_ , not just for the out-there plot, but for the numerous sex scenes that James outlined in detail, and that he cast his little fucking brother to play his love interest; their host family puts up with so much, both his and James' weirdness, and now they're going to have to deal with incest questions, christ — but he can't, because by the time he reaches the end of the script he's actually, legitimately tearing up. The way James wrote their story makes it out to be the greatest love of the century, and not the run-of-the-mil soulbond that it actually is.

Even on their home planet, James was known as being on the wrong side of eccentric, but Dave has always loved that about him, how there's something a little off, how James puts his all into everything, how he dedicates himself to challenging the status-quo, and how he likes the idea of living outside of societies norms, embracing alternate lifestyles. 

He was created after James, was born after James' DNA already existed, a First waiting for a similar combination to generate itself within the gene pool; Dave's whole existence as the Second is to compliment James, to stick with him through anything and everything, thick and thin, because Dave's the only one who'll really understand him, who'll always get him. 

Some of the guys Dave was raised with have never even left their village, content to be Second to the town's baker, the IT person, the garbage man. Dave's bonded to a diplomat, tasked with getting another species to better themselves by the sheer will of him existing; he's bonded to a famous actor who's made a brand out of being himself, who can play any role he wants without people second guessing if it'll ruin his career; he's bonded to a man who helped him become an actor too, because he saw that Dave craved that release just as much as he himself did. 

It's practically in James' job description to shake things up. Their government is going to be pissed, yeah, and the press tour is probably going to be weird, but it'll be pretty great too, Dave figures. It's been years since he was last able to kiss his husband in public; he's looking forward to being able to do it again, even if people just think it's some weird, Franco gross-out publicity stunt.

**Author's Note:**

> original prompt being: _They're actually lovers, traveled to Earth from another planet._
> 
> Since you made it through that, here's the rest of the background information:
> 
> Way, way back in the pre-technology days, people would travel the globe searching for their soulmate. Now that they're all fancy and Jetsons-y, though, they've managed to streamline the process. Whenever someone is born their DNA is added to a database. If your soulmate is already alive (as was the case for Dave) then you are sent to be raised by them, UNLESS your soulmate is under 16 years of age, in which case you are sent to a government run group home (think of it as a hippy commune rather than how sad group homes are here on Earth) until your soulmate turns 16, and then you go live with them) and if your soulmate doesn't exist yet (as was the case for James) they file your DNA away for whenever your soulmate shows up, and you go to the said group home until you turn 18.
> 
> All of the above is the screenplay James submits and gets greenlit. Somehow.


End file.
